Social Etiquette: The Negative Nancy

At the beginning of August, we, with the help of our awesome intern, brought you three social wedding etiquette issues (The Rehearsal Dinner, Bridesmaids, and Wedding Invitations). This week, we would like to present a look at a few more!

Today’s subject: The Negative Nancy


From Alli: “Weddings bring out all kinds of emotions in people. Most of the time they are joyful and supportive but there is always at least one person who isn’t giving as much encouragement as you had hoped. We call that person The Negative Nancy. It may be a bridesmaid or an aunt or even one of your parents. This person is putting a downer on all of your great ideas. This can be such a crushing feeling, so how does a bride or even an event host best handle The Negative Nancy

Communication. Communication. Communication. If you have been following the previous Social Etiquette posts you know I put great value in this. 

Find a comfortable time and space (when your emotions about the issue feel relaxed) and simply ask your nancy what’s wrong. Then explain how you are feeling. Chances are they do not even realize they are doing it. If they could understand how you’re feeling about their opinions, surly they will take a softer approach. 

More likely than not, the people who you have asked to share this time with you love you dearly and only want it to be the best. The worst thing you could do is let the wound fester and become a bigger deal than you ever intended. This will lead to a blow out, that could be so easily avoided with the right communication.”


3 thoughts on “Social Etiquette: The Negative Nancy

  1. Nathy says:

    I love that you brought that up, because I am afraid, I will have two negative nancies (or nancys?) at hand.
    One is my aunt, who is not a big fan of matrimony, but she is an important part of my family and I cannot cut her out. Besides, she is also a practical person and will be a great help at planning. But her practicality also can be a problem, because she always thinks she knows best, even if I, the bride, do not like her ideas she will do as she pleases. (She ordered a caterer of her choice, without asking, for my cousins wedding. See what I mean?)
    The other one is my maid of honour, who is also my best friend, but who tends to have mood-swings, especially when she is not the center of attention or not everyone agrees with her. But with her, having the suggested conversation will help, with my aunt it will probably not.

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